It is said that we fall in love with three different types of people in our lifetime, each for a different reason.
After several unsuccessful relationships and curious decisions, you begin to see a trend in your choices and the kind of people you end up falling in love with. According to Kate Rose of the Elephant Journal , it appears that you fall in love with three different people during your lifetime, and each type of person you fall in love with is for a different reason at a different time in your life.
Our first love comes when we are young.
For example, in high school. You’re young and don’t know much about love, other than what you’ve deciphered in the movies. You know there are feelings, arguments and occupations in the bedroom, but other than that, you are not really sure what love is.
It’s the kind of naive love, the kind of unrealistic, cinematic love. This is what you think is right by the standards you know about movies and the standards you know about society. We start this love with the belief that it will be our only love, and we start to plan a future in our mind around this notion.
And it doesn’t matter if, in your heart, you are not feeling quite well, or if you are planning a future, you cannot really imagine yourself, because in our imaginary minds , we see that’s how love is supposed to be.
For us, with this kind of love, how others perceive us and what they see about the relationship is more important to us than what we actually feel about it. With this love, you will find yourself posting permanently on social networks about the pleasure you feel with each other.
You are going to post about eating a mediocre dinner and watching a show as the most incredible moment of your life. This is because you need others to see your relationship as magical and perfect.
Our second love is our difficult love.
It is love that teaches us lessons about who we are, what we expect from our relationships and the kind of love we really want.
Unfortunately, this love is not so happy. This love hurts you and brings you pain, often lies and other times manipulation, usually emotional. The second love is generally unbalanced and unhealthy and can be selfish and narcissistic. Because of these facts, there are almost always tragedies, and you are led to think that it is your fault.
You feel guilty for always being with this person, even if you know you need to detach yourself from them. Continually being with him still cannot give you what you want to feel, and you believe that you are not loved enough because he does not give you the kind of love you are looking for.
However, instead of abandoning the relationship, you hang on, thinking that one day everything will change and he will realize how much he desperately loves you.
It is precisely this emotional oscillation of extreme ups and downs that makes us dependent on this kind of unhealthy relationship. We cross the depressions, as serious as they are, to feel a slight tingling at these wonderful peaks.
With second love, it is necessary to force, more than it should be, for it to work.
Our third love is the one we don’t see coming.
It is love that we have never considered in the past. It’s different and new, we’ve never dated this kind of person before. The third love is one that comes too easily, and that doesn’t seem possible.
You think it will not last, that you will stumble on something that will create an obstacle on the road. Sometimes it happens right after a great heartache, and you think the same thing will happen again because, in the past, it happened.
At first, you cannot explain the link. What attracts you so much about this person? Here, we meet someone and, surprisingly, it sticks. There is no compromise, no pressure. The two of you seem to be working together, and somehow the way you live your life fits well with the way they live theirs.
And that’s what makes your two lives one. Your life together is exactly as you wanted love to be. The third love is easy, you both work hard to maintain it, to maintain your relationship and your love as beautiful as they already are.
And with the two of you working, you don’t have the impression of being the only one to pull the cart as you felt in your second love.
Sometimes it’s 50/50, sometimes it’s 20/80. He loves you enough to carry you in your bad days, and you love him enough to bear him in his bad days. You do not feel the need to constantly announce your happiness.
And you know what ?
Sometimes you are not happy. Sometimes he is not happy. But that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the relationship. You come with your misfortune and try to resolve it. You sit together and talk, shout, sing, draw, what you have, and solve any problem that arises.
Because that’s what love is, it’s making things work because you love each other and want to be together. It is this kind of love that tells us why everyone else left the picture.